Christ in loneliness.

I missed what I was supposed to learn, and all I learned about was missing You. 

Tonight I dug into a God-given talent of mine.
This is what I came up with! I'm pleased with it. 

Tonight the Lord has given me a little more freedom. Though my life seems to be in a bit of a chaotic state again, I know that it isn't forever. I know that the Lord is close to me. I know He wants to heal me, to comfort me, to fill every empty place with His love. I'm thankful for the extremes that He goes to bring our hearts back to Him. I'm thankful that His arms are always open to us when we come running back. I'm thankful that He doesn't just tolerate us, He takes pleasure in us. I struggle so much with feeling like a nuisance to everyone that I know, so I'm deeply comforted in knowing that God is never annoyed by my presence. He looks forward to spending time with me, always. There is solidarity with Christ in our loneliness and I'm learning to enjoy God through my pain, through my loneliness, through not feeling His presence. I'm learning to hold onto belief rather than rely on emotions. 

Though I'm gradually feeling better, I know that that doesn't equate to complete healing yet. I know still being sick and still having unhealed wounds is something that I need to be conscious of.  I know that I need to continue to seek God's healing, rather than strut around as if I have suddenly gotten everything together. I need to be on guard. My Spirit cannot take missing God anymore. Recently more than ever, I've realized the how hungry my soul can get for God's presence, for His love, for His Word. We're all hungry for Him, whether we know it or not. Experiencing His glory and reflecting it back out into the world is what we were made for! 

I'm ready for Jesus' continued healing. I'm expecting to see Him working in my life. I'm praying for courage as He brings me through the heartache, the pain, the difficulty and I hope that I can be soft-hearted enough to enjoy Him while it's all happening.